Hazelnut
by Alter Eco
Impact
In Switzerland, where this is manufactured, select restaurants offer human mother’s milk on the menu because the 'breast is the best', obtained in much the same manner as donor sperm banks – by paying a nominal fee for it. There’s no law either for or against the practice (though some puerile politician no doubt has one pending) & given the Swiss penchant for clockwork precision & mountain freshness, if this is allowed to continue they’ll probably have pumping stations right in the restrooms.
This bar seems a by-product of the trend: mother’s milk in a nut sack.
This bar seems a by-product of the trend: mother’s milk in a nut sack.
Appearance 3.8 / 5
| Color: | annatto brown |
| Surface: | + Peru |
| Temper: | semi-angry |
| Snap: | crunchy cleavage |
Aroma 8.1 / 10
clear & concentrated: all about whole roasted hazelnuts ‘n oil w/ just the lightest MC backing
Mouthfeel 11.7 / 15
| Texture: | powdered sugar contrasts nut-crunch |
| Melt: | macro-remains |
Flavor 42.8 / 50
uncocks malted filberts snaking their way into a frothy Milk Choc bath to season the nuts -> the 2 fuse together to detonate savory subliminal explosions (salt w/o sodium, herbs w/o chlorophyll) -> drains away fresh-pumped mother’s milk leaving a hazelnut oil slick pooling at the back
Quality 17.4 / 20
Milk Chocolate seems ephemeral but its impact is influential, triggering all those savored elements around hazelnuts, serving in a supportive / nurturing role with very well proportioned measurements all around in which the very act of masticulating long enough stimulates the suckling of diluted milk & hard nuts chewed into a bumpy / rocky gianduja that leads to the perception of blocking a lot of sugar out - compared to Venchi’s hyper-smooth freeway route - that’ll leave you, depending on your point of view, feeling either kinda blue ala Miles or golden yellow as in Van Gogh. You can take this one to bed... it’ll supplant the after-cigarette.
ING: sugar (Phillipines), hazelnuts, cacáo butter (Bolivia / Dom Rep), whole milk pwdr, cocoa mass (Bolivia / Peru)
ING: sugar (Phillipines), hazelnuts, cacáo butter (Bolivia / Dom Rep), whole milk pwdr, cocoa mass (Bolivia / Peru)