85% w/ Nibs
by BlanxartImpact
‘X’ in Blanxart marks the spot for ‘Bland Arts’, transfiguring what might’ve been a soulful 85% Badd Boy into a bleached & butter-sequined princess of pop.
Appearance 4.5 / 5
Color: | opaque brown |
Surface: | well-molded front; pocked with fuzzy-haired Nibs on back |
Temper: | semi-flat |
Snap: | maracas (witness the Color, lots ‘o butter); strong edge-wall integrity |
Aroma 6 / 10
creosote-cocoa & tobacco -> funghi -> vegetal action sprouts beneath -> fertilizer & fuel -> talc & prescription meds subdued in paraffin
Mouthfeel 12.9 / 15
Texture: | slightly barbed Nibs the incisions in & around a body swollen by plastic surgery from lecithin |
Melt: | just beats it into the thriller of the whole experience |
Flavor 38.7 / 50
false start... next jams right into quik chocolate hit, ABC kind of stuff -> followed right on the heels by cocoa -> silver metal streak moonwalks over lightly smoked ham -> surpressed phenol edges on to brownie cake mix -> burnt out creosote & ash at the back
Quality 14.4 / 20
Another weak contivance for a high-percentage bar (Marcolini Fleur, Weiss Kacinkoa, Lindt 90).
Vain & narrow in a kind of flash-dance feature lip-syncing, choreography, & lights. Plenty of techno-tricks: Dutched cocoa butter (deodorized, of course), expertly manipulated & bathed in alkalis (just a trace of metal for a sort of glued-on glitter), plus lecithin & vanilla complete the face-lift. Any ‘live sensation’ furnished by Nibs that are possibly untreated / unadulterated.
In general, a cartoon of what some expect chocolate to taste like, or for people looking to get their anti-oxidants on... the easy way.
ING: cocoa mass, sugar, cacáo butter, nibs, lecithin, vanilla
Reviewed Autumn 2010
Vain & narrow in a kind of flash-dance feature lip-syncing, choreography, & lights. Plenty of techno-tricks: Dutched cocoa butter (deodorized, of course), expertly manipulated & bathed in alkalis (just a trace of metal for a sort of glued-on glitter), plus lecithin & vanilla complete the face-lift. Any ‘live sensation’ furnished by Nibs that are possibly untreated / unadulterated.
In general, a cartoon of what some expect chocolate to taste like, or for people looking to get their anti-oxidants on... the easy way.
ING: cocoa mass, sugar, cacáo butter, nibs, lecithin, vanilla
Reviewed Autumn 2010