Boi
by Adi
Impact
Kids growing up in the Upper Midwest rarely have a chance to go barefoot with its shorter summers. Attending college in southern California changes all that. And for a radical upshift in style, it helps to have a Fijian dorm mate around who 24-7-360 wears his traditional sulu (skirt or sarongs).
At first he looks repulsive in it... ‘nah, never be caught dead in that... ba ba ba’.
A couple drinks & a few smokes later to slip one on &... before long it was outta the seat. Butt cheeks cracking up wide open laughing the ass off. Supreme comfort. Soon wearing it everyday, & to class no less.
Guys can be like that: oh boi, a little bit of Brüno Gehard in everybody’s body.
Return of the sarong: this Boi bar will never win a beauty contest, but it's a firm friend kind of chocolate.
At first he looks repulsive in it... ‘nah, never be caught dead in that... ba ba ba’.
A couple drinks & a few smokes later to slip one on &... before long it was outta the seat. Butt cheeks cracking up wide open laughing the ass off. Supreme comfort. Soon wearing it everyday, & to class no less.
Guys can be like that: oh boi, a little bit of Brüno Gehard in everybody’s body.
Return of the sarong: this Boi bar will never win a beauty contest, but it's a firm friend kind of chocolate.
Appearance 2.7 / 5
a schlub
a schlub
| Color: | ditch brown |
| Surface: | crudely molded into a swaying pantoon curved over some polluted waterway; still visibly flowing on the back |
| Temper: | muddy & dull |
| Snap: | tight but thinly strung; holes the size of caves along the edge wall |
Aroma 8.3 / 10
spinning air soft & serene: bêche-de-mer (sea cucumber) hiding banana leather (very buttery) -> ocean minerals (kelp, salt, bitumen) -> beneath it all an acutely sharp spice w/ terpenes flying (almost sechuan-like) to ultimately send up an orange flare
Mouthfeel 10.8 / 15
| Texture: | brittle shards |
| Melt: | remarkably liquifies to suit taste |
Flavor 42.9 / 50
parched cardboard sprayed in orange-papaya mist -> grains -> kava -> green (nicely stringent) walnut disguised as a savory / meaty grill-fish floating by a gorgeous coral reef -> taro for a fish ‘n chip combo lathered in cocoa sauce -> somehow falls out a Gliricidia shade tree
Quality 15.7 / 20
Another impending disaster from Adi turns into a cheering success. All the ancillaries (Appearance, Texture, etc.) just plain wrong. Ditto the initial onslaughter of Flavor – a factory reject. Then, miraculously, it self-corrects with oddball appeal.
Where the company’s 100% Soso-O is a potato chip & this, a fish ‘n chip platter by the end, the question arises whether technique matters at all since there’s very little of it to speak of.
Abysmal conche works wonders, however, in preserving the spare volatiles that send this bar on to its recovery, exhibiting some rare finds in the treasure hunt for chocolate terroir to award it a medal for easy-bearing if bizarre pride of place.
And in fairness, Adi roasted out a good amount of bitterness shown earlier in the germinal seeds used in this bar.
Just start luvin' this stuff.
ING: cocoa mass, cacáo butter, sugar
Reviewed Summer 2010
Where the company’s 100% Soso-O is a potato chip & this, a fish ‘n chip platter by the end, the question arises whether technique matters at all since there’s very little of it to speak of.
Abysmal conche works wonders, however, in preserving the spare volatiles that send this bar on to its recovery, exhibiting some rare finds in the treasure hunt for chocolate terroir to award it a medal for easy-bearing if bizarre pride of place.
And in fairness, Adi roasted out a good amount of bitterness shown earlier in the germinal seeds used in this bar.
Just start luvin' this stuff.
ING: cocoa mass, cacáo butter, sugar
Reviewed Summer 2010