Papua New Guinea
by Neuhaus
Impact
Papua New Guinea (“PNG”) for Pretty Near Generic. As with pharmaceuticals where generics can work just as well, this bar is an effective enough placebo & shuts up cravings about as well as a pacifer plug, in a chocolate case-file of Munchausen Syndrome in which a “caregiver” induces an illness in a person to gain control over their victim & elicit sympathy from others. Usually occurs with young parents on their vulnerable babies or, conversely, adult children with dying parents.
Appearance 4.9 / 5
new Neuhaus pkg w/ peek-a-boo window
new Neuhaus pkg w/ peek-a-boo window
| Color: | Darth brown tinged black cherry |
| Surface: | 100g of solid block mold; well-poured & scored |
| Temper: | beautiful flat textured-vinyl |
| Snap: | basso profundo |
Aroma 6.5 / 10
snickered by the huge knuckle prints of The VOG (Vanilla Oak Giant): vanilla caramel -> major nut haus (peanuts, the almond-like galip [Canarium indicum] & the very indigenous okari, not to mention coconuts) -> warm leather -> bottoms out on crushed taro chips
Mouthfeel 12.1 / 15
| Texture: | thick swollen paste |
| Melt: | slow motion / slight unwieldy |
Flavor 39.6 / 50
foretold by the Aroma: cocoa onrush -> copra (coconut) -> peanut -> streaming vanilla supresses a rising bitter insurrection -> enlivens to taro & yam -> sweetens thru to dried papaya spears which soften nut components toward cashew & the buttery okari -> honey-breadfruit -> soy damage (copious lecithin) -> Weeping Pine (Pinus patula; anise-like) -> almond caramel
Quality 14.7 / 20
Neuhaus yet to heed, nor apparently even hear, the cries of the new era chocolate crusaders; the ones calling for bar-smiths to ban lecithin & banish vanilla. (How soon before those same protesters decry sugar?) In fact, this classic Belgian house acts exactly the opposite as it sticks to its guns & publicizes the long list of ingredients -- in 7 languages no less (oh, the joys of European Disunion; at least it beats 2 World Wars & a divided continent).
A bar that defiantly puts it to them by nuking this chocolate with... what else?, vanilla & lecithin - the former at virtually cloying levels that effectively masks underlying bitterness the manufacturer terms “coffee” - to compensate for what the label indicates as no cacáo butter added back into the formulation, substantiated by a CBS (Cocoa Mass/Butter/Sugar ratio) of ~3/4/3.
The result tastes atypical for PNG. A Flavor that could’ve just as easily come from Ivory Coast except for that papaya-yam sequence.
ING: cocoa mass, sugar, lecithin, vanilla
Reviewed Summer 2010
A bar that defiantly puts it to them by nuking this chocolate with... what else?, vanilla & lecithin - the former at virtually cloying levels that effectively masks underlying bitterness the manufacturer terms “coffee” - to compensate for what the label indicates as no cacáo butter added back into the formulation, substantiated by a CBS (Cocoa Mass/Butter/Sugar ratio) of ~3/4/3.
The result tastes atypical for PNG. A Flavor that could’ve just as easily come from Ivory Coast except for that papaya-yam sequence.
ING: cocoa mass, sugar, lecithin, vanilla
Reviewed Summer 2010