Smokehouse BBQ Potato Chips
by Wild Ophelia
Impact
If not for Vosges this would be the most over-rated bar in the game.
Trader Joe's, in the next display case, has equally poor taste for ½ the price.
Trader Joe's, in the next display case, has equally poor taste for ½ the price.
Appearance 1.8 / 5
| Color: | pale for 70% |
| Surface: | smudged, blemished face; greasy backside with welts & pock marks |
| Temper: | tantrum |
| Snap: | testy & those pock marks open up to big holes on the edge wall |
Aroma 4.6 / 10
budget bulk-grade IC: coconut shell, leather & extra-gratuitous vanilla
Mouthfeel 5.4 / 15
| Texture: | crushed chips |
| Melt: | oil slick |
Flavor 21.2 / 50
salted potato 'n greasy mockolate -> butterscotch-tapioca on cardboard -> dried onion & paprika -> evacuates tired rather than inspired chili pepper
Quality 7 / 20
A spud; no artisanal craft other than in the marketing.
That the bricolage or mash-ups of this Vosges-spawned label passes for the creative elite in the new economy is really just a marketing gimmick -- & a "successful" one (re: $$$) at that -- which cashes in on the farm-to-fork movement with an opportunistic branding venture.
Consequently, there's nothing wild about this uncreative & unoriginal Ophelia.
Drenching starches in chocolate is about as vogue as 2,500 years ago... when cacáo was served on flat plates as a chocolate type sauce, condiment, &/or garnish in Mesoamerican cuisine at Paso del Macho, Yucatán, Mexico.
Ophelia updates the recipe.... larded & stocked with granny's kitchen cupboard full of stale / rancid ingredients, including inferior alkalized cocoa. The couverture is not alone. All the elements are so substandard that on short order they recede, yielding to salt 'n pepper to carry the length
Moreover, Ophelia should be apprehended for multiple ID theft: basically stealing Cowgirl & marrying her off to Señor Murphy; the relationship consummates over comfort food ala Sweet Bliss plus the nostalgia of Cocoa Luxe to give birth to a Dude, Sweet attitude (because every infant eventually grows up to rebel against their parents). Dressed in a li'l Annie Oakley of Annie Get Your Gun fame &, voila, shrewd domesticated Ophelia.
In truth, virgins in the Mormon Tabernacle are wilder than this. Then again wilding's not really the object here with this bar, now is it? Your wallet is.
Add pickpocket to the list of offenses.
INGREDIENTS: cocoa mass, sugar, cocoa butter,soy lecithin, vanilla, potatoes, canola oil, salt, onion, garlic, spices, clarified butter
Reviewed October 2, 2012
That the bricolage or mash-ups of this Vosges-spawned label passes for the creative elite in the new economy is really just a marketing gimmick -- & a "successful" one (re: $$$) at that -- which cashes in on the farm-to-fork movement with an opportunistic branding venture.
Consequently, there's nothing wild about this uncreative & unoriginal Ophelia.
Drenching starches in chocolate is about as vogue as 2,500 years ago... when cacáo was served on flat plates as a chocolate type sauce, condiment, &/or garnish in Mesoamerican cuisine at Paso del Macho, Yucatán, Mexico.
Ophelia updates the recipe.... larded & stocked with granny's kitchen cupboard full of stale / rancid ingredients, including inferior alkalized cocoa. The couverture is not alone. All the elements are so substandard that on short order they recede, yielding to salt 'n pepper to carry the length
Moreover, Ophelia should be apprehended for multiple ID theft: basically stealing Cowgirl & marrying her off to Señor Murphy; the relationship consummates over comfort food ala Sweet Bliss plus the nostalgia of Cocoa Luxe to give birth to a Dude, Sweet attitude (because every infant eventually grows up to rebel against their parents). Dressed in a li'l Annie Oakley of Annie Get Your Gun fame &, voila, shrewd domesticated Ophelia.
In truth, virgins in the Mormon Tabernacle are wilder than this. Then again wilding's not really the object here with this bar, now is it? Your wallet is.
Add pickpocket to the list of offenses.
INGREDIENTS: cocoa mass, sugar, cocoa butter,soy lecithin, vanilla, potatoes, canola oil, salt, onion, garlic, spices, clarified butter
Reviewed October 2, 2012