Vanilla Raw
by Fortina
Impact
Prickly cactus / desert rose cocoa, only edible if lost & starving in Death Valley... many miles away & several days from any sign of civilization, without GPS, & no iPhone signal to call in a medivac. More trouble ahead: requires liquids to wash down. Good luck.
Appearance 3.8 / 5
fudged
fudged
| Color: | dirty fudge |
| Surface: | fudge |
| Temper: | fudge |
| Snap: | fudge – exposes crumbling dry wall section |
Aroma 3.6 / 10
cocoa sack (dusty & musty); cardboard wrapped around cookie dough, vanilla, & malt, cut by wild mint
Mouthfeel 4.7 / 15
| Texture: | dry, coarse, & astringent |
| Melt: | abysmal gunkholing |
Flavor 15.4 / 50
cardboard cookie -> feral cactus mint -> vanilla lint balls up into horrendous dry wall -> helichrysum foetidum (a/k/a stinking strawflower)... fortunately smoothes out into barely edible unbaked cookie dough fallen into the middle of a construction dump
Quality 4.1 / 20
Rough; angular, diffuse, & austere. Undoubtedly using Sunfoods raw cacáo powder. Worse than insipid... reverse-flavor (actually sucks flavor out of the mouth), leaves behind vile sun-dried iguana lizard-dung aftertaste. The name of the company – for Tina – suggests they feed this to their pet boa constrictor.