Goji
by Vosges
Impact
Vosging '07 style: hop aboard the latest fad even when it's already 2 years past. Goji berries, aka wolfberries, TCM superfood... which reputedly cures everything. The Vosges grrlllls morph into she-wolves on this one. Just bites & locks the jaws.
Shades of Kitchen Sink Konfections that used the comix book character Devil Girl to promote its Devil Girl Choco-Bar which exhibited a rare form of candor in advertising: "It's BAD For You!".
According to the cartoon’s creator, R. Crumb, it may seem the depths of marketing ignorance to state in bold letters on the package 'IT'S BAD FOR YOU', but think about it... a brilliant strategy considering many consumers today: a generation of brain-numb S&M-zombies who want to feel 'BAD'. Surely the hordes will eat-up this low-grade product as fast as retailers can place it on their candy counter. The sharp, up-to-date business operator will not fail to perceive the beauty & reap the rewards.
Is the 2nd product - Devil-Girl Hot Kisses - that burning cinnamon-flavored candy, back in production by Cheesy Products, coming next from Vosges?
Shades of Kitchen Sink Konfections that used the comix book character Devil Girl to promote its Devil Girl Choco-Bar which exhibited a rare form of candor in advertising: "It's BAD For You!".
According to the cartoon’s creator, R. Crumb, it may seem the depths of marketing ignorance to state in bold letters on the package 'IT'S BAD FOR YOU', but think about it... a brilliant strategy considering many consumers today: a generation of brain-numb S&M-zombies who want to feel 'BAD'. Surely the hordes will eat-up this low-grade product as fast as retailers can place it on their candy counter. The sharp, up-to-date business operator will not fail to perceive the beauty & reap the rewards.
Is the 2nd product - Devil-Girl Hot Kisses - that burning cinnamon-flavored candy, back in production by Cheesy Products, coming next from Vosges?
Appearance 2.4 / 5
| Color: | pink dirt |
| Surface: | scrubbed front impression but like that person who had major surgical work done & still wears gobs of make-up & wigs, marred underneath on the backside w/ scar tissue, pock marks, blemishes, etc. |
| Temper: | smudged & uneven |
| Snap: | sickly weak & limp; crumbling edge |
Aroma 5.7 / 10
plays hide & seek... what little is found is dim & lurid: sweetened peanut butter 'n cheese -> paraffin beneath; more Rick James cheese-funk on the rubdown
Mouthfeel 10.6 / 15
| Texture: | dry, in addition to dried fruit |
| Melt: | resistant; grips the jaws... swells into a flab hag |
Flavor 42.3 / 50
gets the hook on fast: malted cocoa stuck to vanilla velcro right off the yin-yang -> salt blasts thru the mix to work its magic for toffee -> goji, a minor bit player in flavor, obstructs the flow, lending only sporadic flashes w/ tart cranberry-like edge, then a metallic lead leaving skid-marks on the tongue... fights salt for sundried tomato FXs
Quality 16.6 / 20
Goji relatively irrelevant, overpowered by a salted milk choc toffee - reasonably good however blasting - & perhaps just as well seeing how they're otherwise diametric. Off-flavors probably produced by heavy use of insecticides & pesticides where gojis grow. Those familiar with lead-toys from China can now expand their collection with leaden fruits. That Vosges shies away for printing on the label "organic Tibetan" gojis speaks to its ethical integrity because if there were a shred of evidence to support that (or in Vosges-speak, a soupçon), this company would sprint to it.