Impact
NOTE: This bar produced under a private label for MarieBelle.
Exploiting a possible historical connection between Central & South American cacáo cultures, this from a Colombian cocoa bean wrapped in Mesoamerican ethnography. Theories abound that the Panamanian Isthmus formed a bridge between the Nawa-language Mexìcâs (Aztecs) to the north & the Muisca Confederation which once flourished in the highlands of present-day central Colombia (whose abundant wealth had the El Rey Indio’s naked body covered in gold dust before diving into a lagoon that gave birth to the legend of El Dorado).
Today in the Cauca River Valley of Colombia's Antioquia region a cacáo beverage, remarkably striking to that of one prepared in traditional Mesoamerica, suggests both cultures drank a similar libation, alluding to cacáo’s multi-status as aliment, medicine, & ritualized sacrament.
Given what we now know of the plant’s pharmacological benefits, by current DEA standards those indigenous chocolate eaters & travelers would be classified as narco-traffickers pedaling a Schedule III controlled substance. Luckily, cacáo is still the best street-legal drug we have & MD now stands for ‘Mayan Dark’.... this uniquely tricked-out piece (unsweetened except for milk's natural lactose sugars) is the Dr. Feelgood of chocolate bars.
Exploiting a possible historical connection between Central & South American cacáo cultures, this from a Colombian cocoa bean wrapped in Mesoamerican ethnography. Theories abound that the Panamanian Isthmus formed a bridge between the Nawa-language Mexìcâs (Aztecs) to the north & the Muisca Confederation which once flourished in the highlands of present-day central Colombia (whose abundant wealth had the El Rey Indio’s naked body covered in gold dust before diving into a lagoon that gave birth to the legend of El Dorado).
Today in the Cauca River Valley of Colombia's Antioquia region a cacáo beverage, remarkably striking to that of one prepared in traditional Mesoamerica, suggests both cultures drank a similar libation, alluding to cacáo’s multi-status as aliment, medicine, & ritualized sacrament.
Given what we now know of the plant’s pharmacological benefits, by current DEA standards those indigenous chocolate eaters & travelers would be classified as narco-traffickers pedaling a Schedule III controlled substance. Luckily, cacáo is still the best street-legal drug we have & MD now stands for ‘Mayan Dark’.... this uniquely tricked-out piece (unsweetened except for milk's natural lactose sugars) is the Dr. Feelgood of chocolate bars.
Appearance 5 / 5
sensational & rare candy dots mold; game-on
sensational & rare candy dots mold; game-on
| Color: | crayola brown |
| Surface: | peg board which reduces the care required to eliminate divots, bubbles, & airholes by just making them bigger (brilliant idea); designer whorls out back |
| Temper: | semi-burnished |
| Snap: | seismic thud; nearly impossible to get a straight edge w/ this kind of mold |
Aroma 9 / 10
cartoons & kidz stuff all Saturday morning long... starting early, like right at dawn: chips ahoy cookie monster -> caramel fudge -> Santander's famed cherry marshmallow blow pop -> custard pudding sprinkled w/ cocoa dust -> light cinnamon red-hots; & oh, a glass of chocolate milk, sweetie, to go w/ them cookies
Mouthfeel 12.4 / 15
| Texture: | has an unreal edifice complex: solid heavy toned body, Botox'd to the max + Barbie boobs, recalls the sticky peanut butter paste of Lindt's Noirissime |
| Melt: | everlast; turgid 'slow-me-a-river' w/ some reach around & pull on the teeth |
Flavor 42.6 / 50
a chain link of little tricks: gets productive fast on chocolate cake hulked out w/ cocoa powder + caustic vanilla -> thick caramelized marshmallow swirl releases in waves -> contrastive bitter walnut -> brooding peanut-butter-toffee meltdown -> slowly unleashes darkly golden caramel w/ a micro-hit of smoked herb -> dieback to cocoa; ash the after-math
Quality 17.1 / 20
Rarified, if a bit of a Franken-freak: a) cocoa powder early in the progression unnecessarily prejudices the outcome; b) a battery of emulsifiers (E322, soy lecithin, PGPR-90) the added bulking agents without which texture might just be crumble cake given the milk powders involved; & c) all help press down on the roaster bottom a little too hard (convincing the processors perhaps of their greater margin for safety or, conversely, the need to go hotter to burn these additives out of the flavor profile), providing length but also that charred back-end (oddly, the mid-palate is rich with prospects & wonder).
At approximately 30%, milk's impact is no more than equal to its weight as cocoa tannins cut across the dilution, modulating thru the dairy filter quite handily, its bitters only tempered & caramelized without the expected bigger cream tones that might’ve caught both thunder & lightning in a bar. However reposed, milk does roll off the hi-fruit top notes in Santander’s 70% base & robs it of a good amount of clarity, contributing its own lactose sugars but missing the clean crystal clear white sugar sweetness, so overall the bar shows rather occluded.
Still, this dark exposé amounts to a break-thru in light of its composition, surpassing even the threshold of Slitti’s Lattenero as to how far & high - percentage-wise - this Dark-Milk trend can go.
Plus, guilt-free: No Suga’ = Mo' Cocoa.
At approximately 30%, milk's impact is no more than equal to its weight as cocoa tannins cut across the dilution, modulating thru the dairy filter quite handily, its bitters only tempered & caramelized without the expected bigger cream tones that might’ve caught both thunder & lightning in a bar. However reposed, milk does roll off the hi-fruit top notes in Santander’s 70% base & robs it of a good amount of clarity, contributing its own lactose sugars but missing the clean crystal clear white sugar sweetness, so overall the bar shows rather occluded.
Still, this dark exposé amounts to a break-thru in light of its composition, surpassing even the threshold of Slitti’s Lattenero as to how far & high - percentage-wise - this Dark-Milk trend can go.
Plus, guilt-free: No Suga’ = Mo' Cocoa.