A Noka-style branding play. This "Alice", of Wonderland syndrome, is the brainchild of Madison Ave ad execs who went down the rabbit hole by traveling around the globe in Lear Jets in search of the world's best chocolate. In true latter-day Indiana Jones M.O., they found it - not in any wild rainforest jungle - but in Switzerland, lying on a desk at a chocolate manufacturing plant... a collectible & auctionable bar which quite possibly is a primordial adventure cacáo.

Felchlin’s Cru Sauvage, remelted into ingots, each the size of a little finger, wrapped tighter than Tut's mummy inside Pandora's box beneath a tsotchke nesting-doll for hi-scale marketing panache. Then privately labeled & upholstered with at least a 5-fold increase to furnish that surreal luxury price point.

The prime difference between this & the original is that “Alice” apparently added cocoa (perhaps even Dutched powder), adulterating the pure chocolate quotient, lending a ghastly metallic edge at mid-palate & significantly lowering the profile, robbing it of several of its top fruit notes. Shades of the Mad Hatter’s riddle on why a raven is like a writing desk... because it can produce a few notes, though they are very flat.

A Disney'd production on chocolate nonsense & testament to just how hard it is to ruin a truly great bar. Exquisitely accessorized for the souls of the rich who wear $429,000 Pateks to match that Maybach key fob at the bottom of their LVs + the iPhone whose ringtone loops the Queen of Hearts: “off with her head”.

FULL REVIEW UNWARRANTED