Milk Chocolate
by Jacques Torres
Impact
“What will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price... the love of soft living, & the get-rich-quick theory of life” – Teddy Roosevelt
This bar continues this entire line’s death-spiral by dumb-downing the market. Operating on the assumption that Torres must’ve earned his fame & fortune thru hard work & consummate skill, he should be able to produce average chocolate. But the inferential evidence presented in his bar collection suggests otherwise, that the higher one climbs the ranks, the lower the level of performance, & the greater the descent into mediocrity. Think of the Bush Adminstration.
Bottom line: never assume anything because to do so just makes an ‘ass’ of ‘u’ & ‘me’.
This bar continues this entire line’s death-spiral by dumb-downing the market. Operating on the assumption that Torres must’ve earned his fame & fortune thru hard work & consummate skill, he should be able to produce average chocolate. But the inferential evidence presented in his bar collection suggests otherwise, that the higher one climbs the ranks, the lower the level of performance, & the greater the descent into mediocrity. Think of the Bush Adminstration.
Bottom line: never assume anything because to do so just makes an ‘ass’ of ‘u’ & ‘me’.
Appearance 3.2 / 5
| Color: | jaundiced pewter |
| Surface: | strong impression w/ Jacques’ rock star signature plastered all over the mold |
| Temper: | Wax Factor™ |
| Snap: | indulgent, self-absorbed, & rigid; craggy crabby edge wall |
Aroma 3.1 / 10
paraffin, plastics, & Play-Doh™ underscored in thick casein glue & dept store cheese
Mouthfeel 4.4 / 15
| Texture: | granulated powder |
| Melt: | sticky |
Flavor 16.7 / 50
a cross-cut of powdered chalk, clay, & milk solids -> vanilla malt -> metal & odd chemicals -> Tootsie Roll ™ polymers
Quality 3.9 / 20
Impertinent. Torres claims this is “so good it’ll keep your socks up”... & it does... stiff as starch from all the ginch.
Children, stick with Hershey's™ & Mars™ bars - better, & cheaper too.
ING: sugar, whole milk powder, cacáo butter, cocoa mass, soya lecithin, vanilla
Children, stick with Hershey's™ & Mars™ bars - better, & cheaper too.
ING: sugar, whole milk powder, cacáo butter, cocoa mass, soya lecithin, vanilla