Box Chocolate Review

If Godiva’s gold, See’s is silver & both are Hallmark Greeting Cards in candyland; oversized lower middle-class slabs to fit in the GM-SUV w/ a 100,000 year warranty backed by airtight shrink-wrap

vanilla caramels & nuts just streaming hot off the box

Shells:	respectable medium-thin gauge
Centers:	air-injected & impressive in light of everything else

Remember how it used to be in the days leading to acne & cavities? Seized on the Midway of a thousand-&-one variations on corn syrup & sugar? This was the fuel that got you there - beyond ‘flavor-forward’ to ‘mission glop’ where chocolate itself poses as an innocent bystander, then a victim, & finally a casualty – well before prissy haute chocolatures showed up (viz., Vosges). Purely unpretentious sludge.

See’s Candies calls it like it is: candy. Industrial manufacture laminated in old-fashioned kettle works veneer... just makin’ the masses happy. A 'merican staple.

Couverture:

Guittard

Unidentified Object - Dark-on-Milk whipped ganache; malt attack followed by corn syrup assault; cocoa-powder burn marks at the back (Dutch alkalis)
Toffee - a brick munnitions factory; corn syrup anneals to epoxy-strength then explodes into ammonium nitrate - the main ingredient of both bombs & chemical fertilizer; overkill
Dark Caramel - glucose & fructose dissolve any teeth left over from the caramel tug pulling them out
Sprinkle Top - pours on the fake pancake syrup plus some dog-done-it on the bark at the base of the maple tree; hyper-sweetened to make even dentures grate & ache
Almond nougat in Milk Choc w/ artificial maple beneath; stale but passable
Coconut - shredded coconut spackled into a Milk Choc shell against some grout for back up