Mint
by Sacred Chocolate
Impact
Sacred abandons its heart-shaped decal, usually adhering to a colorful foil-wrapper, for a pouch now with a latch closure. Very sharp upgrade.
Unfortunately the contents are such that this, despite the "raw" tag, boils down to the same old wolf crouching deep down under sheep's clothing.
Adding mint serves to imprison the stone-cold killer & hardens it further into an unrepentant psychopath (see Quality Section below).
Unfortunately the contents are such that this, despite the "raw" tag, boils down to the same old wolf crouching deep down under sheep's clothing.
Adding mint serves to imprison the stone-cold killer & hardens it further into an unrepentant psychopath (see Quality Section below).
Appearance 4.2 / 5
ridiculously uneven pour (one arm much longer than the other on this skinny model)
ridiculously uneven pour (one arm much longer than the other on this skinny model)
| Color: | violet brown |
| Surface: | a beauty bar with blemishes & brushstrokes |
| Temper: | hi wattage |
| Snap: | a bullet |
Aroma 6.8 / 10
nothing mystic about the sacred truth: heavily extracted mint (+ a suspicious pepper lurking in the background)
Mouthfeel 10.3 / 15
| Texture: | Wrigley's™ chewing gum |
| Melt: | glob job |
Flavor 30.7 / 50
some mint -> more mint -> much more mint -> mint again -> then even more mint -> & ever more mint -> the mint monopoly / monotony finally broken by some welcome relief of caustic chalk 'n caulk at the base of the throat
Quality 11.2 / 20
One dimensional: The Frozen One... so cool this mint it causes freezer burn in the chest cavity & causes lungs to seize up before collapsing. Way beyond Girl Scout™ cookie strength. Cacáo the delivery system for a lozenge really of potent herbal medicine.
The good guys behind Sacred Chocolate are supreme marketeers when it comes to liner notes:
No shit, that's it. 'nuff said.
These guys are it. Just as Weezer wrote & performed the best song tribute of Kanye Ego’s: The Greatest Man That Ever Lived, in a similar vein this rises up, to use Sacred's own PR mouthpiece, the greatest chocolate ever. Period. (Thank you, South Park.)
Taste might be subjective (though probably less so than people think). But can it also be this objective? (Yes, humanity learned about poison a long time ago.)
Obviously morality matters more than money in this chocolate church of integrity, for omitted from the liner notes is the reported role that evangelist Wolfe plays: he happens to have a vested interest in selling this product by virtue of an ownership stake in the venture.
the C-spot™ occasionally has similar conflicts of interest but does its foolish best to disclose them if & when they occur.
Maybe it's time to copy the sacred M.O. & lose "the truth" routine; banish the thought of any mea culpa come-out parties, just do a public denial, & keep preaching' the warrior-savior creed.
That aside, a well-"minted" bar, of intensely direct clarity, that at least can be stomached (if the patient survives long enough for this to reach past the esophagus tube) compared to so many inedible "raw chocolates". If nothing else, the herb possibly neutralizes all the the pathogens attendant to raw cacáo.
For the penniless 99% who blew the last remains of their disposable income on Apple toys & iTunes downloads, & might need to OWF (Occupy Whole Foods) to afford this, consider alternatively a local farmer's market for a bunch of fresh mint leaves instead. Steep in parboiled water. Enjoy the rest of the afternoon for the best day... well, maybe not ever but for the moment in the moment.
ING: cocoa mass, maple sugar, cocoa butter, peppermint leaf & oil; CBS (Cocoa mass / Butter / Sugar ratio): ~5/7/7
Reviewed January 10, 2011
The good guys behind Sacred Chocolate are supreme marketeers when it comes to liner notes:
1. "Processed below 115 Degrees Fahrenheit" (notwithstanding that one of the principles in the company sent an email acknowledging that such a claim is a "myth").
2. Next some swagger from David Wolfe, listed only as the author of Naked Chocolate: "Sacred Chocolate leads the world in flavor" (really?), "nutrition, antioxidants" (research suggests that such absolute claims may be overstated), "texture" (discom-glob-ulated balls of fat for a liposuction procedure), "and innovation" (re: primitive). (Parentheticals added.)
3. Then straight out of NLP indoctrination appears this: "One taste of this bar & you will know the truth".
But wait... there's more to this herbal extract fit-for-the-generics-section on Aisle 29 in the back of a Rite-Aid pharmacy:
4. "Sacred Chocolate makes the best chocolate ever..."
No shit, that's it. 'nuff said.
These guys are it. Just as Weezer wrote & performed the best song tribute of Kanye Ego’s: The Greatest Man That Ever Lived, in a similar vein this rises up, to use Sacred's own PR mouthpiece, the greatest chocolate ever. Period. (Thank you, South Park.)
Taste might be subjective (though probably less so than people think). But can it also be this objective? (Yes, humanity learned about poison a long time ago.)
Obviously morality matters more than money in this chocolate church of integrity, for omitted from the liner notes is the reported role that evangelist Wolfe plays: he happens to have a vested interest in selling this product by virtue of an ownership stake in the venture.
the C-spot™ occasionally has similar conflicts of interest but does its foolish best to disclose them if & when they occur.
Maybe it's time to copy the sacred M.O. & lose "the truth" routine; banish the thought of any mea culpa come-out parties, just do a public denial, & keep preaching' the warrior-savior creed.
That aside, a well-"minted" bar, of intensely direct clarity, that at least can be stomached (if the patient survives long enough for this to reach past the esophagus tube) compared to so many inedible "raw chocolates". If nothing else, the herb possibly neutralizes all the the pathogens attendant to raw cacáo.
For the penniless 99% who blew the last remains of their disposable income on Apple toys & iTunes downloads, & might need to OWF (Occupy Whole Foods) to afford this, consider alternatively a local farmer's market for a bunch of fresh mint leaves instead. Steep in parboiled water. Enjoy the rest of the afternoon for the best day... well, maybe not ever but for the moment in the moment.
ING: cocoa mass, maple sugar, cocoa butter, peppermint leaf & oil; CBS (Cocoa mass / Butter / Sugar ratio): ~5/7/7
Reviewed January 10, 2011